As my intimate relationship with Otis the Odyssey began to blossom, my sense of adventure followed as well. With the longest New Zealand road trip known to date, a few co-workers and I decided to pack our bags and go for a mini vacay in my minivan.
Day 1: Blue Springs
Nothing says long road trip in a confined car better than home cooked Chinese dumplings and fresh dog
First stop- Auschwitz (...sorry too soon, too soon)
Second stop- The decapitated pet bazaar
Final destination- Pure dopeness
Where we tested our engineering skills and constructed highly sinkable boats made of dead plant matter
Took risky jumps into unsafe shallow waters
With the result of permanent retardation
Created a supportive team building environment to publicly poo
Tapped some tiny unevenly tanned ass realllll hard
...and then drank away the pain
Day 2: Blue Lake (as you can tell, creativity in naming locations is one of NZ's strong suits)
First stop- Kerosene Creek, an arsenic's wet dream
Final destination- Blue lake in its entire majesticness
Where we reenacted the miracle known as child birth
That eventually led to our fertile selves being slightly more hungrily aroused than anticipated
Day 3: Huka Falls
Converted all females into Asian boys with bowl haircuts
Tucked our heads under our knees and kissed our bum goodbye
Spent some quality bonding time with Otis...as well as aired out the dank farts polluting the interior
Sat on a 'bridge over troubled water'
Eyed young children from afar
Met a ginger tree
Went cave exploring
Day 4: Taupo
Touched by the natural environment
Rescued this poor drowning Sol
Etched a self portrait
Failed at kayaking
Day 5: Raglan
Experienced a heavy flow
Joined a hippie circus commune
Ruined beautiful scenery with my grotesque dry monkey feet
Experienced boiling point on my no no parts
Watched laughter slowly turn into genuine distress and anguish
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